Babysitting
by Queen-of-Gondor
Summary: Why does Lorne like to take care of Connor so much? Please read and review!


A/N: That's my first Angel story, so please review and tell me what you think (-:  
  
That's a repsonse to a challenge on www.lovelorne.net  
  
Enjoy!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me...  
  
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Babysitting  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It's day and Connor has been crying for nearly two hours now. It never gets boring with this kid around, it's even hard to concentrate on Aretha when his wails ring through the whole hotel.   
Sighing I slowly leave my room and walk over to Angel's. To my surprise the vampire doesn't even realize that I open the door and I can't help smiling as I see him desperately trying to calm his son. He looks tired, it's bedtime for him after all, he didn't have much sleep since Connor was borne. But the little one doesn't seem to care about that at all - he isn't tired and he obviously thinks that it is his father's duty to pay him attention.   
Oh no!   
I feared that!  
Now Angel is trying this terrible irish lullaby again, hearing it once surely was enough for the poor child for he cried even harder.  
No wonder, it sounds horrible and somehow reminds me of 'Mandy', the first song he had used to let me read him.   
That was kinda traumatic.  
Anyway, now I'm used to it, I guess.  
Connor's not, though, and he does what I wanted to do at hearing 'Mandy': He's crying his eyes out.  
And what is even worse, Angel doesn't even notice what he's doing to his son.  
Somebody has to rescue him and because nobody else is there I volunteer.  
"Hey, Angel-cakes. Why don't you go to get some sleep? I'll take care of the kid."  
Not expecting me to be there he jumps slightly. Then he turns around. "You wouldn't mind?" His voice is hopeful as he looks up at me. At least we are making progress, a few days ago he was still too suspicious to let me touch him.  
"Of course not, honey. Now go to bed, you're looking horrible and he's probably crying because you look so scary."  
A grateful smile comes to his lips. "Thanks, Lorne."  
"No problem."  
I watch him leaving the room and then I sit down next to the bed of the still crying child.   
After thinking about it for a moment I decide to try a lullaby, too.  
Too bad I don't know any.   
Michael Jackson's 'Will you be there' will have to do.  
In a gentle voice I begin to sing and after two verses Connor is fast asleep.  
Wow, I didn't think that it would be that easy. After all Angel has tried for two hours. Maybe I should become a professional babysitter? Sounds good, doesn't it? I'm still unemployed since my club was destroyed. Oh well, damn my tender heart, I wouldn't ask Angel to pay me for looking after the little guy, not in a hundret years. Even though he it's partly his fault that I lost the Caritas. But on the other hand he and his team have saved my life.  
Again a small smile comes to my lips as I look down at the baby. I must admit that he looks unbelievable cute, so innocent.   
So vulnerable.  
From the first moment on I have fallen in love with him.  
I can't help but wonder how anyone could hurt such a little, helpless creature. I just can't understand it.  
Another thing I ask myself over and over again is how my mother has felt when she has looked upon me those first few days.   
Was she proud?  
Did she love me?  
I don't know, she never told me so. All I can remember is her shame, her harsh words, her disappointment. When I was a child of four years I started to try to make her proud. I would have done everything.  
It didn't work, though.  
Whatever I did it was wrong in her eyes.   
All I earned was a disgusting gaze.   
Back then I was too young to understand. No, wrong explanation, now I'm a lot older and I still don't get how a mother can hate her own son.   
After my tenth birthday she let me sleep outside at least once a month, hoping that a Drokken would come to kill me. She didn't tell me that, she told me that I should sleep outside now and then to get stronger. I was too soft for her. But I knew the truth.   
Every morning when she saw that I was still alive she was obviously disappointed.   
And later she just told me how much she hated me, she didn't make a secret out of it anymore.   
Everybody thought I was a freak, I wasn't good in fighting, I wasn't good in hiding my feelings all the time, I was a shame to my family.  
Once, not too long before I came to this world, I had dared to sit ouside and hum a song, of course I didn't know that it was a song, all I knew that it was painful for the others to hear. I couldn't understand how something so beautiful could be painful to them. I had heard melodies in my head for a long time, but I had hid it for I knew that everybody would think that I had gone completely insane, then a cow had taught me that song and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. That was another problem: I thought it was wrong to treat the cows like my clan did. I was kind to them and everybody laughed at me because of that.  
Back in the garden, so I hummed that song and suddenly my mother came out and I received the worst beating of my life. She yelled at me and cursed me, for days I wasn't allowed to enter the house. The rest of the story is even more painful and I don't want to think back.   
I look down at Connor again, trying to get those pictures out of my mind.  
He smiles in his sleep and is as peaceful as one can be.   
I will no harm let come to this child. It's not mine but I will help Angel to raise him as best as I can. They have become my family, the only family I ever had, and I would give my life to keep Connor save.  
  
End 


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